Buy a piece of the crack
The communal buttcheeks are surveyed into 354 parcels. Claim a plot for 10–100 USDC. Bigger land, bigger stink.
294 of 354 plots available
Claim a plot
10–100 USDCSelect a parcel on the crack to see its price.
Satirical testnet demo — no real USDC moves. Connect a wallet to feel like a real land baron.
How it works
1. Survey the crack
The communal buttcheeks are carved into hundreds of irregular parcels of every size and shape. No two plots are alike.
2. Claim your plot
Pick any unclaimed parcel and pay its USDC price — 10 for a modest whiff, up to 100 for a legendary crack estate.
3. Reap the stank
Own the land, own the emissions. Every rip that passes over your parcel is, spiritually, yours.
Docs & FAQ
Is this real?
It's a satirical demo about buying “land” on a pair of communal buttcheeks. No blockchain, no tokens, no USDC actually moves. It's a joke that happens to be production-ready.
How is a plot priced?
By size. The crack is subdivided into hundreds of irregular parcels; the bigger the parcel, the higher the price, ranging from 10 USDC for a tiny vapor plot to 100 USDC for a legendary crack estate.
What are the grades?
Parcels are graded by size: Vapor plot, Whiff plot, Cheeker parcel, Ripper estate, Legendary crack. Legendary parcels are the rarest and the most fragrant.
Why buttcheeks?
Because a flat plot of digital land is boring, and pressure has to escape somewhere.